They know which women are confident, independent and self-reliant and they will work hard to win her love and commitment.
And they know which women are needy and desperate for a husband and they can put in limited effort to get her to give up her goodies. My father was a cheapskate and my mother worked 40 hours a week to help ends meet.
His stingy, emotionally rigid temperament left me feeling dejected and unworthy.
As an adult, I didn’t feel worthy of a man’s love or gifts.
And although many of his other friends have similar suspicions about this new woman in his life, they just want to “keep out of it” because it’s “none of their business.” I think they should be ashamed of themselves.
I think friends who care do need to get involved, at least to offer objective advice. Here’s list of bullet points to consider when there’s a possibility that the person you have begun dating might be after your money: financial inequity between him and the woman he’s dating.
Though she said she doesn’t want to leave him "because of money," in the next breath it became clear that despite two years of dating him, after just two months of his mooching, love didn't matter, she was ready to walk away from the relationship. I bumped up against my own money panic button years ago, at the start of a relationship.No, he’s not rich, but he’s financially stable with a positive net worth and very little real debt. I’m sure that if he does, he’ll recognize himself and his situation. But will he take what I’ve written here in the spirit in which it was intended: as a wakeup call to ?To take on the financial responsibilities of a person he barely knows just because she’s pushed the right buttons when he needed them pushed is breathtakingly tragic. Or will what I’ve written here for him further damage our long friendship?Here are some of the emails I've received on this subject: Mimi, I've been going through some tough times financially, trying to get my work life stabilized. Nevertheless, my advice would be to not ask a man for money unless you're sure that he is not offering to help out of ignorance of your situation, and not out of selfishness and lack of empathy.At times, and even as I write this, I've been quite broke. If we've been dating a bit, I'm honest that I'm struggling, and will even mention a specific need that I might be struggling with. If the latter is the case, then you should reassess your expectations from him and the relationship.But because she meets his emotional needs — constant agreeability, ego stroking, companionship, and sex — he’s become blind to what’s so obvious to the rest of us — including the friends who simply won’t speak up.