I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.
The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.
Whether it’s to meet someone because you’re lonely in a new city, to find that special someone, or to have a Spanish conversation partner – take the leap.
So Americans, I say to you – neither of you are Barbie or Ken models of what a perfect partner is.
If your expat game plan includes finding love then you’ll need to wrap your brain around romancing the American way. S.-style dating looks a lot like it does elsewhere: find someone you don’t hate on sight and who you strongly suspect isn’t a serial killer, then arrange to meet for some kind of shared food or beverage experience. It’s like a job or house hunt, which means investigating more than one prospect at a time.
(But it did work for me) I think I’m pretty similar to most women, in that I enjoy romance and appreciate small gestures of thoughtfulness. In my experience, and the experience of almost all of my friends, American dating can be characterized almost without exception by these aspects (and I’m guilty as well! In American dating it seems like everyone wants to be the winner, the strong one, and to hide any sign of vulnerability. Your priorities are your priorities, but why would any strong, independent woman who knows her worth constantly settle for being ranked below work, friends, football, and working out? They’re awarding kids for everything these days (even participation), so of course that will continue on to adulthood.
Embrace it, recognize it, both in yourself and in your partner.
Be honest, both with yourself and with the people you’re dating.
So, whereas back home you might find yourselves pootling along, and even up the aisle, having never bothered with the am-I-the-only-person-you’re-dating? Looking out for subtle exclusivity cues, like him introducing you as “my girlfriend” or being invited to meet the parents, is no substitute.
Naturally, I’m generalizing, but American women seem more upfront, assertive and opportunistic than their British counterparts.
I hear time and again from American men that American women need to lower their standards. But some of us take the risk anyway, because even the slight possibility for success is worth everything, even life itself. When the “what are you looking for” conversation comes up – give your REAL answer.