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Keep the relationship between the two of you, and when marriage becomes a consideration, have him introduce you to the kids.
Sometimes, it is everything they can do to get out the door to come see you in the first place. Next, you should know that they will probably not want to take you back to their place for quite some time. 1) they really don’t want their kids meeting any new person in their life until they are sure it is going to last a long while.
And 2) even if their kids aren’t there, they know that at any given time it looks like an A-bomb went off in their house.
And because first impressions are everything, and because their time is limited, they will want to wait until you won’t be scared right out the door.
Either make it easy for them and tell them you appreciate environments that leave you fearing for your health, or invite them to your place for a snuggle and a movie.
But I shudder to think how they might have turned out if I was their lone parent.